Dear future husband,
I have no idea who you are, but I look forward to meeting you. Everyday I see my future and cannot wait to share my part of my plan with you in our life together… I want a marriage like the ones I grew up with. I see the love that my parents and grandparents have on a daily basis and though it may not be perfect, it is beautiful. I have watched three great unconditional Marriages blossom and help mold me into the woman I am. With those as my guide, I will love you with every ounce of myself that I can, with as much unconditional love as you can stand.
I will warn you though, I am tired… I am tired of seeing the people around me with no respect for the love they have. I am tired of feeling used by the men I have tried to get to know. I am tired of text messages and dates canceled. I am tired of falling in love and not feeling like I am enough. And with all of this tiredness I know that I have been hard to love. It was hard to break down the wall I built from years of being cheated on, lied to, and used. Pushing past the lies I believed about what love now a days really is. It was near impossible to get me to open up about my past and feelings because I hate to feel vulnerable. And Though now I would trust you with my life, sometimes I seemed unattached, when I was just scared of you. I was scared to fall in love with you because, love in the past didn’t do anything but hurt. Love caused me to hurt myself in ways you will one day uncover. Doubt my own self-worth and beauty. Tested my relationship with friends and family. But most importantly it hurt my ability to love myself. I’m sorry you have had to battle these demons and break down my walls and for any pain I have caused over our time together because I can’t get out of my own head.
My past is not all bad though. So I will not just highlight the bad, because those unhealthy relationships helped make me the women you fell in love with. I had so many amazing adventures before I met you and that happened because the past shaped me. I have traveled to places I never thought I’d see, met amazing people who have blessed my life, learned it was okay to be alone, found the women I really wanted to be, dreamed larger than life and hopefully blessed other people. My past loves have taught me to take every chance presented to me. They taught me how strong and independent of a women I am. That I need to respect myself because God made me perfect, no matter what shape or size I am. My past has been a rollercoaster but that’s the way life is meant to be.
But I am still tired and sceptic about the concept of love and marriage. Though I witness many beautiful unions everyday, I also see so many that are unhealthy, destructive, and detrimental to the people in them. It disheartens me to think this is the world we are joining are families in holy matrimony to and the world we will raise our children in. Marriage’s value is decreasing daily when it should be priceless.
With that in mind, I can’t promise you many things in life because I have been taught that life is meant to toss you curve balls. But by seeing the love I was raised with, I can swear to you this:
1) I will respect you and our marriage because to me it is the second most important relationship in life after God. I will not cheat or lie to you about anything. My eyes will never waiver from you. I am not perfect and will never be but the respect I have for you is unbreakable.
2) I will do my best to be your best friend and not just your wife. When you need someone to talk to I will always be there with open ears. I will listen to you when you have a bad day… Pick you up when you need it. Go on adventures with you. Tell you when you look good and when you need to go to the gym. Bask in the glory of the high points and dig us out of the negativity in the bad ones. But in whatever you need from me I will be not only your lover, I will be your best friend.
3) I will support your ideas and help you accomplish your goals in life. We will dream big and accomplish anything we set our minds too. If there is something you want to achieve I will do my best to help you get there. We are two independent people living dependitly in one another’s lives, because of this your goals are mine.
4) Last, I will unconditionally love you and let you know you are loved for the rest of our lives! I will have so much adoration for you and every day it will become a deeper passionate love that I promise will never go away. I will tell you I love you every time before we hang up the phone. Never go to bed angry. Always Kiss you goodbye or goodnight because I don’t know when it will be the last time. No matter how often we argue, fight, or disagree you are the love of my life and I am so thankful that you chose to love me. You have repaired all of the pieces that have been taken from me through the years of pain. My heart is complete and forever yours to keep.
Those are my promises to you and I hope you return them to me. We live in a world now where we value the things we have instead of the people we love. I want to show our kids one day that it is the other way around.
Thank you for your patiences with me. You didn’t try to change me or fix me, you just have loved me. I know it hasn’t been easy loving me, I am moody, unemotional, and as stubborn as they get but by now you know this…. I am so thankful you broke down those walls I built, respected me, and showed me that real love has no strings. Life with me won’t be easily but there is no one in the world I’d rather go on this rollercoaster with!
I can’t wait to meet you!